"Don't be afraid, for I am with you. Don't be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand." Isaiah 41:10

Last month, we had a challenging and at the time, scary, event which involved sweet Weston. I initially did not intend to tell anyone about it, because in all honesty it was terrifying, and I wanted to block it out. God doesn't intend us to block out anything we encounter though. We endure for His purposes. He allows circumstances to show His strength and His encouragement. He upholds us and works all things for our good when we walk with Him (Romans 8:28). My life and how God shows up in all the details needs to be shared to emphasize how unbelievable faithful and loving God is! The enemy cannot do anything about my salvation, but he sure can try to make my life a living hell. I refuse to let him do so. This post is rooted in my victory in Christ. I want it to provide powerful evidence that Isaiah 41:10 is true, which states what God promises, "Don't be afraid, for I am with you. Don't be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand."

So here we go...

At Weston's last doctor's appointment, his pediatrician referred us to have him screened for an eye condition called Right Esotropia. He provided us with a list of optometrists, who take part in a free infant screening program called InfanSee. After calling a few of the optometrists on the provided list, I had no luck finding any who still were part of the program. I wasn't familiar with any of the location listed for the other optometrists, so I went to the InfantSee website and chose an optometrist based on a known locations. So, off we went one evening after Mike got off of work to the optometrist.

While Brody and Mike waited in the car (we assumed it would be a quick appointment), I took West in for his check up. The optometrist was so sweet and took a great deal of time examining Weston, all while being so gentle and kind. She soon shared that Weston did not have Right Esotropia, although she was concerned based on some jargon I did not comprehend that he may have a detached retina or eye cancer...or maybe nothing. I sat there with Weston as the optometrist continued checking his eyes in complete, although quiet panic. "Did she just say what I think she said?" I thought. She soon mentioned it two more times and recommended we have him evaluated further by a pediatric opthomalogist, who would likely put him under for the evaluation. I seriously could not think straight. I shared that all I heard was "cancer" and that I needed her to explain her wording along with a corresponding visual/model. I had no idea what she was referring to and needed to grasp her concerns. I also asked her to write down what she said to share with my husband her conclusions.

When I was walked to the lobby by the optometrist, I was surprised to see Mike and Brody waiting there...They had decided to come inside. While the optometrist shared her report with Mike, she did not mention the disturbing details...It was obvious she knew she should not have said the specific concerns she had. I stated her detached retina and cancer concerns, which she confirmed...still with the same facts though. As we walked to the car, I quickly felt my emotions crumble, as Mike turned to my terrified face. I reiterated what the optometrist said, and suddenly he was hit with what she said too...although he remained calm.

As we drove home, I lost it...No composure at all. I was not able to even speak for some time. I called my mom and tried to speak through the tears. She kindly listened and told me to call out pediatrician right away. She was sure something was wrong with the optometrist's evaluation. I texted Kerry, and shared what was going on. She had recently dealt with a false cancer scare with Reese. I didn't want anyone to know, but I felt peaceful about talking to my mom and Kerry. I spoke with Kerry when I got home who spoke powerful, faith-filled words like my mom, assuring me God was in control. When the on-call pediatrician called us back, she stated firmly that the optometrist should never have said what she said and that she was not even trained for such an infant evaluation. She stated that we needed to see a pediatric ophthalmologist the next day. We prayed over Weston that night with tremendous fear but with faith. I know it was a mixture of both, and I wish I could say it was without fear, but it was absolutely terrifying. That was the worst night of our lives...I don't even care if this sounds dramatic. It simply is true.

The next morning, I called and got a morning appointment WITH REESE'S PEDIATRIC OPHTHALMOLOGIST! I knew her doctor's name, but I did not request her. God was all over this detail! Mike came home from work and drove our family to the doctor. After three hours and a very thorough evaluation (as Mike waited with no information with Brody in the lobby and car...not fun), ESOTROPIA, CANCER, DETACHMENT, AND ALL EYE CONCERNS WERE RULED OUT!!!!!!! To say the least, we were grateful to God and relieved. Mike broke down finally on our drive home. He had bottled all of his emotions since the prior night, not losing it even once.

I know now after reflecting on our situation that God never intended us to have fear. He is ALWAYS STRONG NO MATTER WHAT AND ALWAYS ABLE TO BRING PEACE. He is not surprised by anything. At moments, I chose to take His hand and focus solely on Him. Honestly, a lot of the time, I fixated on the facts, not my Creator. This is a work-in-progress in my life for sure. I need to pray for living a fearless life, grounded in God's promises.

I can see how God has used the situation for our good now. First of all, I adore my husband. God showed me how incredibly reliable and loving Mike is and how strong of a Godly man he is. Secondly, God used my mom and Kerry the night after the optometrist evaluated Weston and Mario and my dad the next morning to focus my attention on God. I will never forget the sweet, God loving phone conversations and texts with them. Also, God gave me a fresh perspective on what matters in life as well as an eternal view of a perfect life with Him someday.

I am sure more details will come to mind, but for now, I wanted to share this story for our future recollection and encouragement to anyone reading this.